Saturday, April 10, 2010

The Decision, the New Direction is Now Set.

I have had a good home time this time around.  Although it started out overwhelming as I was determined to sort through the dolly stuff, (and it's not completely done yet) I ended up feeling so much better, getting an idea about what there was, what I could let go of and so on.  My ebay auctions went better than expected and I now officially have the funds for Seola.  I really didn't think it would be this soon.

As I have already mentioned all of this on my doll group, I want to get it recorded here on my blog too.  This is a huge deal to me, much like making a major decision that can have rippling effects.  The decision to go after my dream child and one and only concept was just the right choice for me and the right time to do it.

I am glad that I waited until now.  I think when I first got Evie (I think in 2006 or 08?) I was at the point of just wanting a one and only and it felt so good for awhile.  I was just getting back into dolls since childhood and I know now that I needed to experience more dolls, more types....the materials they were made of, the sizes, the shapes and the abilities of movement.  I went through quite a few, each bringing me a delight, but I would soon be onto the next bit of eye candy.  I am not good at leaving dolls unattended.  I feel guilt.  I kept thinking that I would soon settle down with a few dolls, but the next one that caught my eye had to be experienced.  What a crazy world I was living in.  Just not really what I want.

The experience was good for me, though.  I learned to sew in the different sizes, to make patterns to body shapes, to grasping how the different sizes can really make a difference in all kinds of ways.  But there was a sad side to it too.  As I brought in more dolls, the distance between Evie and I grew.  There is such an excitement about the newcomer, so much to think of and plan...that I can clearly see now how that can put a dent into our relationship.  The biggest mistake I have made for myself is to think that if I loved one doll, more would be somehow better, when in fact for me, more means discomfort and a sense of overwhelming personalities.  This all goes back into my own childhood, as an only child who played alone (I was never good with others) and how intensive my imaginary world was.  I always had one doll to play with, the rest were trolls and bears.  I guess that even as an adult, my imagination settles best on a smaller number of personalities.  I recognize that and need to flow with it.

The decision to adopt out my dolls (starting with the ones I played the least with) helped me get to that final decision, to let nearly all of them go.  It helped me move into thinking about that "fresh start", that sense of doing it right this time.  I have come to this final conclusion:

I love sewing antique period type clothing, so keeping my chinahead and Miette will satisfy that need and delight.  They suit that world, I am not forcing a modern doll to take on the persona of my old fashioned dreams.

I love having a single companion doll that can go anywhere with me at any time.  I love the idea of companionship and shared living experiences.  A companion to photograph, to sew and knit for, to find thrift shop things for.  I love a companion that can be flexible in their body, creating a lovely world that she can be a part of, not just propped up against the wall.
That companion will be chosen soon.  It will either be Evie, Audrey or the new one, Seola.  After this decision, I will let the others go and move in the direction I know is right for me and my own personality.  I feel a sense of peace just thinking about it.  I will also sell off all the dolly clothing, accessories, furniture and whatnots that that final companion cannot or need not use for themselves, thus reducing my own inventory, allowing for growth in a new direction.  A simplicity that I am seeking.

Here is Evie in the new human hair wig, which I could not quite get the style of just yet.  I may need to wash and style it before it falls into place:

I then tried on the wig I am thinking may suit Seola (but I have two lambs wool I want to try on her too):

But I think I finally agree with Evie, this shorty wig seems to give her a youthful and less adult look:

We have a delay on leaving today.  Usually we are sent to the meat patch in Kansas for a 1-3 day wait while they process the meat, but we got a call that we may be sent to Denver to take a load from another driver this evening and head to California.  I hope so, I would rather sit in the doll room just a bit longer.  lol.

As of this moment, I still have not decided on whom to bring.  My mind is so geared towards Seola now, that I just don't know.  Perhaps Olivia the Pig needs a new adventure.

1 comment:

  1. Elisa, I'm so glad you have this blog as I can't keep up with the email group anymore. I LOVE Evie's Mia Farrow look. Gah, I LOVE Mia Farrow! I love the stuff you come up with, and I totally support your decision to thin down the dolls. I go through this myself over and over. I will be really interested to see who you choose. Seola is gorgeous, she does look a lot like Evie. I must confess, for a very long time, I was hoping for a way/chance to have your Evan for myself. I thought he was my one. Well, I did buy a second-hand doll from the amazing dollmistress of Miranda Wandering, and I found when I saw Evan's auction that all was right in my world, and I was at peace seeing him go somewhere else. I'm sorry to ramble. ;)